I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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