This girl is more easily done than said...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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