I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
