i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
