I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
