You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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