Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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