I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
