i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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