yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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