No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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