We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
