i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
