I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize