don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
