That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
