his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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