Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
