The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
