i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
