I think I won the penis lottery.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
