Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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