it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
