Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I would ride that face into the sunset
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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