You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
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Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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