you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
