ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
