i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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