I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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