also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
