Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
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she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
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I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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