So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize