dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
