Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
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Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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