if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Randomize
