I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
