have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize