I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
