..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
