not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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