Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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