Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
