Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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