Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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