It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
