I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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