we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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