tell your sister to shave her snatch
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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