Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
