It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
