That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
