We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
