we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
