Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize