elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
