i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
