I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize